i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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