I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
