Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize