dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
