Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
