ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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