Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
kristin has been a bad kristin
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
