Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it glows. i had to have it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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