Only a mothe r could love this liver
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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