...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how can u be prego again
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
