i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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