I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
