you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
