good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
