You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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