I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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