Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
