He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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