nut hugger
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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