just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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