I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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