Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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