That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
