Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
