so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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