i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
