And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
