what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
