Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize