I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
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all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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