Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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