im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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