I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
