Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
