I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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