she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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