...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
