he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I will pee on everything he values.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
