I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We talked him into tasing himself.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
