Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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