we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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