Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize