Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
