The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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