So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize