hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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