great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
