is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
