She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
