i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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