i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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