Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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