So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
should my penis look like a turkey
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
