please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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