Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
