I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
