I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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