North Korea, Best Korea!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
