Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
