My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
