I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
