Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
