I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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