are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
