y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
