Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
